Everything here is just like a simile, and almost completely alliterative.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

U.S. Conference of Catholic Douchebags

The Catholic bishops are mightily concerned that it is "participation in a grave moral evil" for your money to fund abortion, however indirectly. That's why all the convoluted language in the recent health care bill to ensure separate funding for abortion and (as a side benefit) the almost complete elimination of abortion services for middle class women. But don't get me wrong: the bishops and I might be on opposite sides of this issue, but I think their reasoning is inspired. Brilliant, in fact. So brilliant, I propose its broader application.

Tithing is participation in a grave moral evil.

I guess this would only apply if you think institutionalized child rape and virulent homophobia are moral evils; I can see how the bishops would probably disagree with me, since if there's anything they love more than boy-fucking it's gay-bashing. Disagree as they might, I'm sure they wouldn't fault the purity of my reasoning, because if there's anything those bishops love more than boy-fucking and gay-bashing, it's intellectual purity. The clean logic of an argument, that's what appeals to them, and who cares if that knife slices right through the body of a suffering woman or a sobbing little boy? It's the knife of purity, damn it, wielded by the Alteri Christi here to teach you a thing or two about the power of redemptive suffering.

Catholic friends out there, what do you think? A little snapping-shut of the pocketbook, maybe? Or maybe some redirect of your funds here, to an organization cut off from Catholic funding because of its support for Maine's No on 1?

ETA: And now it has finally and fully reached the pope. Not that it will have much (if any) effect on his papacy; seriously, if "Nazi" doesn't disqualify you, "child abuser" isn't likely to.

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